All your actions have different intensity. Start from lighter toys and progress to harder ones. Complains mean you’re out of her tolerance window. If so, try doing slower, take a smaller toy or adjust the intensity. ‘Nothing’ means the opposite – effect is too weak in her current state.
Most traits affect that tolerance, buffing it for +20%, +50%, -20% etc. But the core mechanic remains unchanged – player has to match their partner’s needs.
To make it easier you can go to game settings and turn on ‘Show the detailed stats’ if it’s off – it visualizes the tolerance in UI making it easier to manage things.